you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
