i permit you to call me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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