At least make sure they are 18
Why
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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