You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
