I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Jerry, you need to find god
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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