Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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