When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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