what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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