I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
