was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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