hotel room ftw
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize