everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
