You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
