Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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