You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
