Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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