No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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