I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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