i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
