quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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