we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
