Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
His nipple licking is glorious
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