Soap is not a condiment
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
