id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
