You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
