I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize