Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
