i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
