Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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