I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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