She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
