6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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