A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize