he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
