I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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