Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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