Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
