Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
