That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
