Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
dude. I can hear the air.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
