so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
