I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
