I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize