Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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