Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
