Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
