My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
