with your own penis?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
