and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
