I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
