Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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