i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
