I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
