Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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