So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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