So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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