halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
