Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
