A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
