we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
