Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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