God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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