I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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