please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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